Adventures in the Fisher Tank

We are still in the midst of this process, but it is already life changing. I love the freedom that comes with less. Unfortunately, I’ve lost my motivation mid-process. The kitchen is the next project, but I already love my kitchen. Yes, it could definitely use an uncluttering, but I haven’t found made the time.

The first step was to go through your sentimental clutter & purge. If it’s just sitting in a box, what is it doing? BEING CLUTTER! Here is a few of the items that I was holding on to:

• every birthday card from the age of 15
• pompons from high school cheer days
• two 3-inch binders full of wedding ideas (I got married before pinterest)

Very little stayed & that which did, was put to good use. I even passed on a few things to friends that might find them useful.

Next was the closet. This was difficult, but I’m glad it was in the beginning (when all my motivation was still intact). After getting rid of things that I no longer wore or were ill-fitting, my closet was much more functional-and it’s a good thing, too, because Thomas sleeps in there!

I’m probably missing a few things that we’ve done, but the few that stick out right now are the desk/computer & bedrooms. I love what we did, but our system is very clearly flawed as far as piles of paper go. We just can’t seem to keep them from appearing! It drives me nuts. Any good system suggestions? Would love to hear them. We also purged a ton of toys (by giving them to my Mom to have for the boys at her house when we visit) making it easier to keep Luke’s room clean.

Ideally I would like to remove anything & everything from the bedrooms that does not promote sleep. Yes, bedrooms need to have storage items like dressers in them, but toys & electronics really have no place in a space that is supposed to be for rest. Unfortunately, we just don’t have enough space. One day…one day.

I also got rid of unused towels/linens & bought a laundry center. This puppy has three separate compartments that allows you to sort the laundry as you put it in the hamper. We use one bag for whites, one for lights, & the other for darks/brights. The top is an ironing board & you can even hang hangers on it. I love it-although it has become the place where I keep need-to-be-ironed clothes…a clutter center! YAY! :/

Now that we are all mostly well…it’s time to get back on track. Back on routine-no more movie days or searching for a way to get out of the house. One of us has been sick for so long that it’s time to start up a new routine! My new days go a little like this:

6am-wake up & get ready. Put together Luke’s milk. Start breakfast, coffee, & tea. Get out the vitamins & make lunches. Stock the diaper bag with diapers, wipes, sunscreen, diaper cream, extra clothes, water for everyone, nursing cover, pacifiers, snacks, bibs, etc.

6:30am-boys wake up. I nurse Thomas, change diapers, & say prayers.

7am-eat breakfast.

7:30am-wash faces. Brush teeth & hair. Get the boys dressed & add jackets/hats to the diaper bag if needed.

8:15am-change/check diapers. Set Luke up with a movie & his milk. Turn the sound machine on & put Thomas down for his first nap of the day.

8:30-9:30am-this nap I limit to one hour so that he will nap for two hours with Luke in the afternoon. After putting him down I say my prayers & get a learning activity ready to do with Luke. Right now we’re working on letter recognition & counting.

9:30am-change/check diapers. This is when we can leave the house for playdates or errands. I often will bring a lunch for the boys to wherever I may go so we can maximize our time out.

10:30am-nurse Thomas.

11:30am-lunch.

12pm-nap time routine. If we are out, it’s time to clean up, change diapers, & get in the car. They will usually fall asleep on the way & I can transfer them into their beds. If we are home, I change diapers, read stories, say prayers, sing a song & turn the sound machines on.

12:30-2:30pm-sacred nap time! This is when I get ready for my afternoon run. Because I have a little more time I can do some research & pick a trail or go to a park that’s not just around the corner in order to get in a better work out. I have my computer time. Time to write, read, & rest. Have to gear up for the rest of the day!

2:30pm-change diapers. Give Luke his milk & a snack. Nurse Thomas.

3pm-RUN! I need to be home by 5…that gives me a good amount of time to get somewhere, have a good run, & go home. If I want a long run I don’t need to get in the car.

5pm-dinner for Thomas. The rest of the day is completely different from what it has been in the past & I’m just trying it out for the first time today. Luke is at a point where he is no longer sleeping 12 hours at night so we’re allowing his bedtime to move a little later. Thomas on the other hand needs all 12 hours, if not more. This is why we’re staggering things starting at this point in our day. Not sure what I’ll have Luke do at this point. Maybe he’ll want to help? Maybe I’ll have to let him have more movie time. We are a little stuck in a rut right now with the movies. It’s so hard when anyone is sick!

5:30pm-quick bath for Thomas. Brush his teeth. Put on an overnight diaper, lotion, & PJ’s.

6pm-Daddy comes home & dinner.

6:30pm-Daddy does bath for Luke while I nurse Thomas & put him to bed.

7pm-brush Luke’s teeth. put on an overnight diaper, lotion, & PJ’s. Read stories. Say prayers. Sing a song. Turn the sound machine on.

7:30pm-bedtime for Luke & 30 minutes of cleaning time for Mommy & Daddy. We have started sharing our chores in the evening so I can focus on helping our boys learn during the day. What makes it all work is that we do it right after the boys are in bed so there is no temptation to go sit in front of the computer or television. We also limit it to 30 minutes or the length of one episode of our favorite TV show. If something doesn’t get done-oh well. I’m learning to be “good enough”. This is a tough lesson, but being a perfectionist has its downside. Learning to let go can be extremely liberating.

I think the holidays really helped get me going & took me out of my funk. After Thomas was born I had a really hard time with it all. Things were rough-you better believe we won’t TRY to have kiddos that close in age again! I don’t know if it was family, all of the festivities, or just my hormones finally mellowing out after giving birth, but I really think I’m coming out of this so called “cloud” now. It’s really wonderful.

Don’t get me wrong. There are still times every day when I fail myself. The difference is that I can pick myself up rather quickly & move on with the day afterward. All I have to do is just keep swimming…

Now that advent has come and gone it seems silly to write a post on it, but I just wanted to quickly reflect on the fun we had with Luke this year.

Advent Calendar: I made an advent calendar & Luke was very excited to add an ornament to the Christmas tree every morning with a little mini reading. I think I’ll put gold buttons on the tree & hang the ornaments that way next year instead of using golden safety pins.

Advent Wreath: Luke has become very interested in praying mostly because we light candles when we pray. Or maybe because he actually likes praying-one can only hope. We lit candles when we did our advent readings & he loved to blow them out. He’s become quite good at it & we still do this together every day when I pray after putting Thomas down for his morning nap. He opens up his little prayer book, prays some gibberish, says “AMEN!” authoritatively, & waits for me to finish while folding his hands. It’s very atypical behavior for his hyper little body. I think he likes watching the flames dance & waits patiently to blow them out. Through these daily prayers, I’ve also taught him how to say “Alleluia” with a kontakion from the Akathist of Thanksgiving that I put on a candle. I’ll have to write a post about our Christmas gifts, too.

Saint Nicholas Day: I spent weeks searching for new Christmas pajamas for everyone to wear throughout the advent season. Even Greg…had to trick him into thinking that he wasn’t getting anything new. Before bed on the eve of the Saint’s Day we picked our shoes & put them by the door. After the boys went to bed I filled our shoes with apples, oranges, chocolates, & cashews as well as wrapping up our winter jammies. The next morning was like a mini-Christmas! Luke loved to open his “prent” (present) even though it was only clothes & we were all very warm these past winter nights.

Now, how do I make Lent exciting for a toddler like advent is? Can I make a Lent calendar? I’m sure there are ways…

All this talk of efficiency & schedules has made me take a step back & wonder about the importance factor. I consider my kids getting enough sleep & proper nutrition to be necessities. Of course that’s important…but is a clean house important? A work out every day? Predictability?

I have to argue, yes (even a clean house). All of the questionable things that I schedule into my day contribute to my sanity, health, & happiness. I think without these things & the structure necessary to achieve them I (and my family) would me much worse off. If I was crazy, sick, & sad all of the time I would probably be a horrible mother. I wouldn’t be able to give my kiddos, or my husband, the proper time & attention that they need & deserve. Which would probably make me even more crazy, sick, & sad creating a downward spiral that would just be hopeless…insert corny Hope joke here.

Give me your best shot-I bet I’ve heard it before

This is what my life is all about these days. It often reminds me of a favorite board game of mine.

In Agricola (Latin for “farmer”), you’re a farmer in a wooden shack with your spouse and little else. On a turn, you get to take only two actions, one for you and one for the spouse, from all the possibilities you’ll find on a farm: collecting clay, wood or stone; building fences; and so on. You might think about having kids in order to get more work accomplished, but first you need to expand your house. And what are you going to feed all the little rugrats?

Agricola is a turn-based game. There are 14 game turns plus 6 harvest phases (after turn 4, 7, 9, 11, 13, and 14). Each player starts with two playing tokens (farmer and wife) and thus can take two actions per turn. There are multiple options, and while the game progresses, you’ll have more and more: first thing in a turn, a new action card is flipped over.

Problem: Each action can be taken just once per turn, so it’s important to do some things with high preference. Each player also starts with a hand of 7 Occupation cards (of more than 160 total) and 7 Minor Improvement cards (of more than 140 total) that he may use during the game if they fit in his/her strategy. This amounts to countless strategies, some depending on your card hand. Sometimes it’s a good choice to stay on course, sometimes you better react on what your opponents do.

Agricola can also be played without cards (family game) and can even be played solo.

Anyway, Agricola is all about efficiency of action. There is a limited amount of time to maximize your points & win the game. Much like life. Yes, this is a ridiculous comparison, I know, but I often find myself cleaning the bathroom while getting ready in it or picking up toys as I walk by them. I’m most always trying to use my time & energy efficiently these days. If I don’t-I might just go crazy.

Another taboo subject-but I love it. Teaching your child to sleep & protecting that sleep means that everyone in the family will be well(or better)-rested making a much better mommy & daddy which equals a happy family. I recently joined an online healthy sleep habits support group & have been wanting to start a group with mamas where we could get together to talk & hash out our issues with sleep.

With Luke, we sleep trained, but we were noobs & didn’t do a very good job of it. At times, he will still not sleep through the night & fight naps. With Thomas, sleep training made all the difference in the world. At four months we used the extinction method (Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Weissbluth) & it only took 3 days. Naps were even easier once he was trained for night sleep. I can literally lay him down in his crib & walk away. He will fall asleep without a peep. It’s fantastic.

Master of Multitasking.

It’s true. Every woman has a knack for multitasking. Even if it is just walking and chewing gum at the same time. I can watch a TV show, sew, read a book, drink a glass of wine, & eat chocolate all at the same time-and productively. Unfortunately, men don’t usually have this ability. If they have their head in a book-that’s all they can focus on. If there’s a movie on & the dishes need doing, they have to press pause if they really want to get those dishes done before they get sucked in & have to sit down to watch. Now I must admit, that this has happened to me too-but I’d much rather multitask to get more crossed off the never ending list.

As a Mom-this skill must be honed & perfected. Sometimes you will have to multitask at times you would rather not. Any breastfeeding Mom that has had to go to the bathroom during a 45 minute newborn nursing session knows what I’m talking about.

Being the Holiday season, multitasking is even more important. I not only have to get all of the normal stuff done, I have to get all the various presents together, made, & wrapped! At least I have nap time.

I am a huge advocate of scheduling your children. Yes, they thrive with predictability & repetition, but it gives me some sanity. This is a taboo topic in some circles who prefer to let their baby or children lead their day, but I prefer to rule my house. The kiddos will have their own homes to rule one day.

Anyway, I’ve recently been asked quite a few times about what my day looks like. Some sorority sisters who don’t have children are curious & other new mommies are interested in getting some exercise &/or showering regularly. How you schedule your children is really based on their age, what developmental milestones they are going through, & how many naps/meals they have each day. One disclaimer…all times are an estimate. With toddlers & babies you can’t be too much of a stickler when it comes to clock times. If you are you will only make yourself crazy by never being on time. I learned this the hard way. It should probably be called a routine-not a schedule.

T=Tommy @ 6 months, L=Luke @ 2 years

3am-dream feed T

6:30am-wake up & get ready to work out. put together L milk. start breakfast, coffee, & tea. get out vitamins for the day. make lunches. stock diaper bag with diapers, wipes, cream, extra clothes, water, nursing cover, pacifiers, toys, snacks, bibs, etc.

7am-L & T wake. change diapers. say prayers. nurse T. eat breakfast: Oatmeal for mommy, daddy, & L. Introduce a new food to T. brush L & T teeth. get L & T dressed. (if it’s not too cold they usually eat breakfast in their diapers…less laundry)

8am-Greg leaves for work.

8:45am-L watches “Thomas & Friends” with his morning milk. change T’s diaper. put on sleep sack.

9am-T Nap #1 (60-90 minutes). I say my prayers & get an activity for L learning time.

10am-change T’s diaper & re-dress. put boys in stroller. run to the park.

11am-L plays while I nurse T.

11:15am-lunch time at the park. back in the stroller. run home. change diapers. put on T’s sleep sack. read two stories.

12noon-T Nap #2 & L Nap (2 hours). This nap is sacred. This is when I shower & get myself presentable for the world or just my husband if I don’t plan on going anywhere else that day. This is when I get to use the computer for all of the time-sucking social media like facebook & pinterest. This is also when I get to write. If the boys are still sleeping after I finish a blog post I will usually lay down with a book for a little rest. This is no doubt when one or both of them wake up. After they wake I change their diapers & redress them both for whatever outing we might have scheduled for the day.

3pm-nurse T

4pm-change T’s diaper. put on sleep sack.

4:15pm-T Nap #3 (30-45 minutes). I never let him sleep past 5pm in order to preserve bed time. This nap is OK to be out & about or for him to sleep in the car, stroller or on my back. It’s just a little cat nap so he can make it to bedtime-not truly restorative.

5pm-cook dinner-I specifically pick recipes & plan meals that will only take 30 minutes to cook so that the witching hour doesn’t get too crazy.

5:30pm-Greg gets home & we eat dinner.

6pm-bath time. the boys have a bath every day for the sake of routine. I only soap them up every other day in an effort to not dry out their sensitive skin.

6:30pm-brush teeth. put on overnight diapers. lotion. PJs. say prayers. read two stories.

7pm-lights out. I nurse T & Greg & I usually get some peace & quiet just the two of us! Unfortunately this peace & quiet is spent doing chores, cleaning up from dinner & the day & prepping for the next day. This is when I look at the calendar & see if there is anything out of the ordinary happening the next day (& usually get sidetracked by facebook & pinterest) & do all the stuff for the morning that I can do ahead of time like make lunches & get breakfast items out. After all of this is done I like to work on mending, re-purposing clothes that I don’t wear anymore, or creating things. The most recent project I finished was our advent calendar. I’ll have to devote an entire post to that.

11pm-dream feed T. GO TO SLEEP!

PS-one more disclaimer: I wrote most of this with Thomas awake because he is about to start crawling & refused to nap today. Milestones really mess with sleep. Also, if any one of us is sick, our day doesn’t look like this…flexibility is a must as a mommy!

Lately, we’ve all been working a lot of overtime around here. When Greg works a lot, I do too! Not that we don’t both work a lot as it stands. Maybe two months ago, Greg’s counterpart at his office quit. They hired someone new fairly quickly, but she wasn’t able to start for a month. Unfortunately, this meant that Greg had to pick up the slack. When home, he had to check his email all the time-meanwhile, I wasn’t checking mine at all. He spent long hours at the office-I learned how to do dinner, bath, & bedtime by myself. It’s not fun or easy, but it is possible. Weekends became just another day of our week & we stuck with our normal routine. That was nice, but not at the same time. I liked staying on schedule better, but didn’t like not getting a “break” with daddy home to help. I’m sure Greg didn’t like being at work all the time either. Once the new hire had actually started, he not only had to train her, but continue getting all the work done as well. FINALLY-we’re getting back to normal hours around here. Let’s cross our fingers.